I sometimes wonder if I’m going a little bit crazy………….Does you ever feel like that?
So it’s 5 weeks now since I was made redundant. And what a 5 weeks it’s been, not sure a rollercoaster quite covers it but we will go with that analogy for want of a better one!! I have experienced so many emotions all at once, anger, sadness, relief, worry, for so many reasons – but we’ll save that for another day!
The initial enjoyment that comes from knowing that you don’t have to get up and go to work tomorrow has long gone. The thought that you are no longer committed to being in a certain place at a certain time is exciting to begin with, but soon turns into a feeling of having no purpose.
The freedom to sit on your couch all day watching TV filled me with excitement at first…..and I definitely indulged for a few days!! Let’s face it who doesn’t love to binge watch a Netflix series?? With all the added time at home you start to see all those little things that need doing around the house, believe me when I say my house has been hinched my floors have never been mopped and hoovered so often.
But then a time comes when you realise that you need more, I was never born to just be a home maker. I feel alive when I am working on a project, researching and learning, investigating things, trying things and gaining satisfaction from the impact and results. So this is where the struggle starts, without a job and the daily routine and buzz that brings I’ve started to feel a little bit lost and if I’m honest that’s made me sad (and grumpy). I feel like a little bit of me is missing, this then allows the doubt to creep in and start to eat away at my confidence to create my dreams. There have been days when I have thought, I can’t do that, I’m not good enough, why would anyone want what I have to offer and so the little negative thoughts start to grow.
I don’t know about you but sometimes I have to step back and have a word with myself and that’s what I have done this week and now I’m back!! Now don’t get me wrong I am no expert on the Law of Attraction but I do know that the universe is always listening. So every day I am grateful for the things that I have. I find it’s true that you are happier when you focus on being grateful for the stuff you have rather than worrying about the stuff you don’t have.
So I’ve started to try new things too. I’ve given meditation a go (a little bit woo woo I know) and it works for me too, it brings me a feeling of calm and a sort of peace. I also recently discovered FORKING an amazing sound therapy treatment, if you don’t know what it is google it!!There was a time when I would of laughed at this sort of stuff, but sometimes these things keep showing up in front of you for a reason. We all need to take a bit of time for ourselves and find the things that bring us back to happiness and calm.
So for now I’m feeling more like me again, and I’m lucky enough to be helping some wonderful friends get ready to launch a beautiful business…………more news on this coming soon!!
I am going to continue doing and trying new things, because life is for living. And I’m holding on to the belief that I am enough and anything is possible when you believe it is.